Somebody reset my router, and now I can’t access the internet

And, yes, I’m speaking metaphorically.

I am sure that I am not alone in the world for finding that city life gets to me. I love the food and the biking in the streets and the best *everything* within 15 minutes walk. But it’s also loud, and dirty, and hurried, and that also often leaves me feeling stressed, and tired, and like I never have enough time (to do it all–which is silly in the first place, because you CAN’T do it all, but that’s not my point today).

So sometimes I’m smart enough to identify that I need time in the great outdoors–I need to get out and breathe in the woods, the fresh air, the quiet. But how often do I listen to myself? Not often. Not often enough.

So the stress compounds and I do my best to struggle through with limited energy and limited (or no) feeling of renewal. Sometimes things are great, and friends and family are a good distraction, but ultimately I need a break from the hustle and bustle in order to recharge my batteries. I need time alone to unplug.

It’s funny, because with my router down and the inability to access the internet, I suddenly seem to have a lot more energy to put into the good things. I’m thinking about creative dinners *and* cooking them up instead of sitting on my butt and playing games or surfing the web (literally, this time). Don’t get me wrong, I’m still checking in with the online life (hello, I’m here), but with that one big hole in my regular day and the unrequited and forced need to focus on just one big problem, I suddenly have no room to worry about the internet (again, literally). I’ve suddenly looked up and addressed life and said “hello, world!” It’s nice to see you again.

And, it is time to get out into the woods…

It’s gratitude month!

So G tells me November is Gratitude Month. And a great month it’s starting out to be. I got a quick one minute fly-by from the boss saying they have full time work for me through the end of the year!

I am grateful for bigger paychecks!!!

I almost feel like a real person again…

After weeks and weeks of bullshit, I’m starting to feel like I’m almost to the surface and can grab a fresh breath of air.  Not that I’m not still buried and need to dig myself out.  Just…..fresh air will be nice.

The accident injuries have been slowly healing.  Somehow, the stress and strain of packing, lifting, moving, boxing, moving, unpacking, repacking, moving, lifting, boxing has helped realign my body into understanding what my expectations are for it.  While I will in no way take credit for the majority of what got done, considering Gabriel was, at times, the only one moving/lifting/reassembling furniture, I will say the effort I put in helped move things along much more quickly—I think…..I hope—than they would have done with him alone.  And I was glad for the exercise.  I know, it doesn’t seem like much of exercise, but when you’ve been as sedentary as I have been due to injury, anything that makes you use your muscles feels like work.  And it feels gooooooood!!

So now that I have a little more time on my hands, and a lot more stuff in my house than necessary, it’s time to even out the two—slowly—until I find a balance of time, energy, fitness, finances and maybe some affection, too.

 

Imbalance

I’m a big baby. I don’t mean to be. But I have been crying and whining about my damn injury status all week, culminating in a shitty weekend of complaining. So I’m going to stop. That’s it. I’m stopping. This will NOT rule me any more.

The price to pay

Recently I made the decision to be happy. Part of that decision will include a huge life change precipitated by the need to reduce costs. The need to reduce my expenses is circularly required because I chose happiness. All that aside, there is definitely a price to pay for happiness.

Instead of accepting a full time salaried position at a company that promotes fitness, I chose a part time position in a call center. Between work that may have been challenging and appealing as analytic and one that does not have obvious paths of growth, I chose the one that may not help me grow—except for this: it will give me the opportunity to pursue the person I want to be during the next 10 years. Although, for the duration of my full time training before I actually begin working part time, I’m going to be bored to tears.

I am fledgling Padawan?

Two months ago, almost to the day, I said I hated blogs.  I didn’t want to blog.  I have my own domain, why should I install WordPress?  Ah, WordPress.  You are quickly becoming one of my most used tools.  ————————————>

Today I took another big leap forward on my way through the Playground.  I opened my Freshbooks account, created my first invoice, and worked 4 hours for my first (and only, for now) client.  Mostly, I’m updating WordPress sites. 🙂

Some of the items are fairly normal, everyday, if-you-can-use-a-computer-at-all-well-you-can-do-this type of things, but other items are more challenging to my knowledge base and create learning experiences for me while I work.  Of course, I have in recent years also admitted that my scale for knowledge and expertise is perhaps skewed toward the high end of the spectrum.  What I mean by that is this:  my interpretation of what Intermediate means equals what most would consider Advanced or Expert level skills.  So, me saying, “if you can use a computer at all well, you can do this” probably makes other folks go, “holy shit, how do you do that?!?!”

So, maybe I’ve upgraded from my newb status.  But, seeing an email from my client to UNDO an hour and a half of work and redo it specifically copy-and-paste makes me wonder.

Good thing I consider my new life a complete learning experience and my new Playground.

I am my own new playground

A part of the playground

I took a big step today.  One of the many projects in the works for Modo is writing an iPad application.  Not knowing any programming languages (yet) should not be a deterrent.  Nor should having no idea exactly how the process of designing and developing an app make me in any way nervous about taking on such a project.  So today I took a big leap—I bought my domain names.

While many of you might not think that is such a big deal, to me it signifies being one step closer to a new self.  This new playground I’m forcing myself into—the programmer, the Etsy crafter, the Maker—all of that is big and scary and foreign for me.  I like comfort zones.  I like knowing what I’m doing and where I’m going.  I like having some predictability to life.  I would be a good Baggins: predictable, steady, perhaps a little boring to some.  This new playground, it’s in the dark.  It’s in a galaxy far, far away.  It definitely speaks a different language……

So while I search for a way to pay my bills (that’s going well, by the way), I’m still pushing forward into that new frontier.  Hopefully, it’s filled with fun and excitement and happy rewards.

Or at least donuts.

Mafl caap a shmeflpup

Success!

I’ve done it!  Well, I’ve nearly done it.  I’m just waiting for a few more things to come in that I ordered online earlier this week, and then I’ll have done it.  What?  Oh, “It”.  It’s envelopes!  Ok, it might not sound like the most exciting thing in the world, but here’s my thinking.  You know that large stack of really nice stationery you bought yourself 3 years ago?  And those dozens of cute notepads sitting around the house just waiting to be used?  I think for most people, it would seem the practice and fine art of letter writing has gone a bit the way of the dodo.  So my recent crafty endeavor is how I plan to solve that problem—at least, for myself.

The Woodgrain Collection

I think these beautiful new handmade envelopes are just the thing to get me charged up again for some handwritten missives, newsletters, and love letters. Break out those dusty pens and stationery paper, it’s time to get WRITING again!

And, if nothing comes of having them up on my Etsy shop, they’re gonna make great gifts. 😉

Happy Birthday to me!

On this the eve of celebrating my completion of 31 years of life, I would like to reflect.  What the hell happened last year?!?!?!

 

 

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