Somebody reset my router, and now I can’t access the internet

And, yes, I’m speaking metaphorically.

I am sure that I am not alone in the world for finding that city life gets to me. I love the food and the biking in the streets and the best *everything* within 15 minutes walk. But it’s also loud, and dirty, and hurried, and that also often leaves me feeling stressed, and tired, and like I never have enough time (to do it all–which is silly in the first place, because you CAN’T do it all, but that’s not my point today).

So sometimes I’m smart enough to identify that I need time in the great outdoors–I need to get out and breathe in the woods, the fresh air, the quiet. But how often do I listen to myself? Not often. Not often enough.

So the stress compounds and I do my best to struggle through with limited energy and limited (or no) feeling of renewal. Sometimes things are great, and friends and family are a good distraction, but ultimately I need a break from the hustle and bustle in order to recharge my batteries. I need time alone to unplug.

It’s funny, because with my router down and the inability to access the internet, I suddenly seem to have a lot more energy to put into the good things. I’m thinking about creative dinners *and* cooking them up instead of sitting on my butt and playing games or surfing the web (literally, this time). Don’t get me wrong, I’m still checking in with the online life (hello, I’m here), but with that one big hole in my regular day and the unrequited and forced need to focus on just one big problem, I suddenly have no room to worry about the internet (again, literally). I’ve suddenly looked up and addressed life and said “hello, world!” It’s nice to see you again.

And, it is time to get out into the woods…

The source of inspiration

Last week, I was on a roll.  I was coding, I was writing, I was crafting–I was getting shit done!  Now……not so much.  Today I’m finding it difficult to really get motivated.  I’ve combed over some of the information that I needed to get through.  (I.e. I pared down my bookmarked list of possible jobs from ~150 to ~30.)  I took a nice long walk.  (To do: Exercise. Check!)  But what happened to that fire?!  That passion?!  That drive to get those other things on my list DONE?!

inspiration | inspəˈrāSHən | noun | 1 – the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, esp. to do something creative

Lists vs Flow

Again, I’m going to blame it on my left-brain-ness.  That “something creative” part is the hard part for my brain to recognize.  I have my checklists and my boxes and arrows drawing out the Visio map for today; I just don’t see the creativeness in it—I don’t find it inspiring.

My accomplishments and productiveness today are nothing to sniff at, but I need to find something that motivates my crafty side.  Where does a left-brain find inspiration?  Where do you find inspiration?

I hate new things

It’s true, it doesn’t seem very flexible of me–very mutable–considering I’m supposed to be an adaptable person.  But I’m also very much a creature of comfort.  Shake up my cage too much, invite too many visitors to my private little zoo, and I become the angry bear someone woke up out of its den two months too early . . . . . . .  and with no food around.

I smell meat!

Never wake a sleeping bear

And yet I find myself, for the second time in 2 short years, trying something new.  Looking; desperately searching; hoping and waiting; excitedly exploring(?) for the next thing that’s going to get me through this so called life.  I’m trying geekery at the moment.  I’ll let you know how that goes.  Perhaps, it will turn me into more of the cute, stuffed type of bear.  The ones people like to cuddle up with on frosty mornings with cocoa and….mmmmm, now I’m hungry!

I didn't fart...!

Did someone say food?

 

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