115 days?!?!?

Could it really have been a 1/3 of a year since I last logged a weblog entry?  How is it that almost 4 months have passed without me writing down a jot?

Oh yeah, working full time really does suck up days.

I had gotten so used to the “more casual work schedule” shall we say?  I had forgotten what it was like to work every weekday, each week, for months.  I hadn’t even noticed so much time had passed since I had last visited my thoughts.  The public ones.  Here.  I have had thoughts……

Anywho, it did occur to me that it’s been quite some time since I had spent any REAL time worrying about getting these particular juices flowing, and I have to say, I’m really glad I’m taking the time now.  Working the 9 to 5 (again) you forget sometimes to take a step back, breath in, re-evaluate, breath out, and move on, move forward.  It’s not a bad thing to be busy, but it’s nice to make time for other things besides life maintenance items and lists, the commute, and the constant chatter in your brain that is left-over stress from the daily grind.  (Note to self: that’d be a GREAT coffee shop name!)  Honestly, it’s also nice to have the holidays over.  They’re always……a mixed bag.

Now that it’s March, it is, of course, easier for me to think.  The winter hazy is fading away.  The spring sneezes have moved in a little, though.  I’ve gone to working somewhere between part time and full time, and I like it.  I’ve been crafting, hot tubbing, traveling, crafting, but no sailing yet.  I rode my bike to work almost every day in February.  Life has kept moving along, even if I wasn’t paying attention to the time that was passing.  Friends got married, others fell in love, I gained and lost 5 pounds in a week, 1 year olds became 2 year olds and 3 year olds became 4 years olds, I found new family and re-visited old memories, and still time doesn’t care if I notice it at all.  It just keeps ticking by, little by little, second by second, minute to hour, days, nights……but not for another 115 days till I meet you again.

 

The source of inspiration

Last week, I was on a roll.  I was coding, I was writing, I was crafting–I was getting shit done!  Now……not so much.  Today I’m finding it difficult to really get motivated.  I’ve combed over some of the information that I needed to get through.  (I.e. I pared down my bookmarked list of possible jobs from ~150 to ~30.)  I took a nice long walk.  (To do: Exercise. Check!)  But what happened to that fire?!  That passion?!  That drive to get those other things on my list DONE?!

inspiration | inspəˈrāSHən | noun | 1 – the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, esp. to do something creative

Lists vs Flow

Again, I’m going to blame it on my left-brain-ness.  That “something creative” part is the hard part for my brain to recognize.  I have my checklists and my boxes and arrows drawing out the Visio map for today; I just don’t see the creativeness in it—I don’t find it inspiring.

My accomplishments and productiveness today are nothing to sniff at, but I need to find something that motivates my crafty side.  Where does a left-brain find inspiration?  Where do you find inspiration?

Why video games are good (besides the obvious)

I recently had a discussion with a friend on why video games are good for me.  That’s right, “Good for me.”  I’ll even go so far as to say they are healthy and a good form of relaxation.  However, just like EVERYTHING in life, only when consumed in moderation.

Relaxation?

Unfortunately for me, my brain works way faster than it needs to sometimes.  It also tries to process a lot of different ideas at once.  The result is a kind of buzzing in my head that sometimes turns into good and productive things, amazing craft projects, or 10 chapters of a “learn to code” book out of the way in one afternoon.  But sometimes it turns into migraines, or crankiness, or poor communication because I’m 5 steps ahead on an answer for a question someone just asked me.

No, I’m not telling you no.  Yes, I am listening to what you are saying, and I get it.  Really…..I get it.

You can see how this could become a problem.  Especially with a boss.  Or a boyfriend.  Or whomever.  Anywho.

...shooting out of there like...

So during this conversation with my friend, I was trying to figure out a way to explain what it feels like in there and what video games do for me.

Think of it like this:  Pretend you have 100 radios in your head.  (Yes, radios.  No, not satellite.)  They are all different shapes and sizes and colors.  Now look at the dials on each.  Are they all tuned to the same station?  How many of them are on?  Are they all plugged in?  Is your power source sufficient enough to power all of them at once?

My head is a 100 different radios, all plugged in, all hooked up to the same power source, all turned on, and all tuned to a different station.  Some of them are even on AM!  It would be great if I could pay attention to all those stations all at once, but what usually ends up happening is that I need to hear just one station over all the others.  So I turn up the volume on that radio.  But then something else catches my attention over on that shelf on the other side of the room, so I turn up the second one to hear it over the first.  And so on and so forth, until the inside of my head is a cacophony of noise that just sounds like a great and mighty din.  It’s no better than static.

All the dials of the rainbow

Ah, so the point being.  Sometimes it’s nice to just do nothing.  I can plug a video game in, turn it on, and tune OUT.  The longer I play that game, the more the little elves in my head go running around pulling the power cords on those radios.  Of course, the danger there is, if I play too long they unplug all of the radios, and that’s bad.

So let’s review my original statement:  Video games are good for me, when consumed in moderation.

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